Celebrating Mom on her birthday.........
This was her as a young woman - before marriage.
Today would have been my Mom's 88th birthday! She so wanted to live to be a 100 and I like to think she would have had she not gotten sick. She was so full of life and smiles and positivity and laughter and silly. For someone her age who was married for 56 years (until my Dad passed away) and had 5 kids..... she could be quite naive at times. BUT that generation didn't talk openly about certain subjects, it just wasn't done. So when I would tell her certain things her eyes would widen and she'd say "OH Lisa" or "oh for heaven's sake". We'd both end up laughing.
There was a time in my teen years where I thought she didn't know anything, I didn't want to go anywhere with her, I thought if she took me shopping she wanted me to wear "old lady" clothes. The truth is it wasn't her, it was me. You know those years when we thought WE had all the answers and no one could tell us what to do without us rebelling and we thought our friends parents were way more cool. I think teen girls and their mothers go through that battle and have since the beginning of time....I think it's a rite of passage.
When I was a little girl my Mom got her first gray hair.....I remember her remarking about seeing it in the mirror. Well when I heard that I began to cry. My Mom asked me "why are you crying?" Well the fact was that I associated gray hair with being really old and being really old meant she might die. Can you believe that? She was younger than I am now and I had her elderly and on her way out because of one or two gray hairs. She didn't even get gray until much later.
She had a joy about her...............one of things she always said was if you went somewhere and didn't have a good time it was YOUR fault. She believed everyone was responsible for their own good time. She always tried to be positive.......saying always "think happy thoughts". Sometimes that would irritate me when I needed a bit more in depth advice. BUT she meant well. People gravitated to her because of that sunny disposition.......even in later years on our many trips to the ER the nurses and doctors would remark how no matter what she always had a smile and would thank them.
She was crafty too. She sewed a lot of her clothes when I was growing up and mine and sometimes shirts for all the guys. She made amazing Halloween costumes. She made Christmas decorations and Easter decorations and curtains for the house. She once had a sort of family reunion at our house where a few of our relatives from back east came to visit.......she decided to do a luau theme and everyone dressed in Hawaiian like clothes and as part of the theme she made a volcano that actually erupted out on the patio. She didn't draw or paint but she could create other things nonetheless. She was truly clever. The list would be too long of all the various things she created.
Basically my Mom loved life, imagination and creativity!
Here she was in an aftercare hospital after a regular hospital stay and I brought her the hat and tshirt as it was Halloween- she was cackling for me as I took the picture. They had a party at the hospital that night where she was wheeled in for dinner with other patients and she had a great time singing along and laughing.
Six weeks later she passed away.
When she was around 78-79 we were at a summer party at one of my brothers house. It was all his and his then girlfriends friends, me, BohoMan and my Mom. After a lovely meal outside my brother and I were looking at CD's and put on a sort of Brazilian one......lively, great guitar. We both looked out the window to the long table where everyone was still sitting outside when we saw everyone suddenly stand up..........we stood with our mouths open! There was my Mom saying to everyone "come on" as she started a conga line.....they were all holding the waist of the person in front of them as she lead them down the yard to another door, inside the house and out again. Everyone was laughing and loving her! Keep in mind my Mom didn't drink....oh maybe an occasional glass of wine or drink....but it was rare. This was my Mom naturally, she didn't need anything to make that good time she always talked about....but herself. (oh how I wish I'd had my video camera with me that day) The guests that day, who have become mutual friends of ours, still talk about my Mom and how much they loved her!
She was a frustrated singer and dancer. Neither one was something she did well but it didn't stop her. When she was near 80 I believe......while living in a large Senior Living complex that was a lovely place (she had her own apartment) they had a resident talent show. I left work early that day and arrived with my video camera..........when they announced the next act they helped her on to the "stage" dressed in a black vintage flapper dress (with all the fringe and modified to fit her because she had gained weight).....wearing red tights and black shoes she did the Charleston! I couldn't believe my eyes.....I could see she was getting tired but she kept it up until the song was over. She got a huge round of applause. I haven't seen that tape in a while.........it's not something I can watch yet. But one day I will and celebrate her willingness to participate even at that age and when she didn't always feel that great.
So you see she was definitely someone with a zest for life.
This was her on the last birthday(she turned 85) we would spend with her. I brought a cake and balloons and party hats for everyone. She was in a Resident Care Facility by then and they had her dressed so lovely with a little bit of make up on. They had made special food and she really enjoyed the day! On prior birthdays we'd take her someplace but by then it was getting harder and harder for her in terms of stamina....she had a good day nonetheless. I only wish I'd someone take a picture of her and I together. A huge regret.
I miss her each and every day. There are times I may cry and others I feel happy and smile that I was lucky enough to have had her for a mother....and I cherish all the wonderful memories. I used to tell her I wanted to write a book about what we all called her "Mom-isms"......funny things she'd say or movie titles she'd get wrong in a hilarious way, mispronounced words and hilarious stories......all naturally her. She would say "you have to wait until I can lose some weight first" to which I'd ask what that had to do with writing a book. Her reason? She wanted to look good if we got on TV or something!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!
I love you with all my heart!
Love,
Lisa
XOXOXOXO
P.S. I did a shrine for my Mom for Stephanie's Dia de Bloglandia last year(see sidebar)..........it has her glasses, a fave watch, and other things of hers........after I finished it my Mom finally appeared in a dream and told me she missed me. I will NEVER forget that and will always be grateful to Stephanie for her inspiration.♥
