So much time goes by it's crazy. Before you know it's been a week, two weeks. Do you ever find that all you have to do is blink and days have gone by? Has someone sped up the clocks??
I am like a broken record here but it is what it is.........I am STILL working on my studio. I wish I could say it has been continuous all this time but unfortunately I was interrupted a few days lately by a bout of diverticulitis. Though not as bad as the one I've had before it's still not fun. BUT it's definitely better and the show must go on. Enough talk of that.
Back to the studio...............I am doing this with things we already have that can be used or reworked to use. I didn't and can't spend money on this project (aside from fabric) so it's been great coming up with various ideas. I have also been a paint mixologist. I wanted a certain color for the walls (3 of them as I did something different to one wall) and another for the trim. So I just started mixing paint I had, so I added a little of this and a little of that until I settled on a wall color. Same with the trim. Nothing earth shattering just something pleasing. The focus is all on the details.......... which brings me to one sneak peek:
So on to something more important.........my Mother-in-law is not doing well, she is now under hospice care (I won't go in to her medical history) We live 2,000 miles away so the care and the constant going back and forth and advocating and stress of all this rests solely on BohoHandyman's older sister (his younger sister lives in another state as well but she's definitely closer than we are). I was in her shoes at one time and it's a very difficult road to walk. BohoHandyman feels constant guilt he isn't right there, being a part of things, helping, doing, taking things on, giving his sister relief. He can't talk to his Mom on the phone and skyping days are over. So at this point he can only lend emotional support from afar. He thinks about his Mother every day and we dread that call. He thinks about his sister every day and embraces her in his heart. Helping me with some of the studio project has been a diversion in terms of his keeping busy when he's not at work but I see it all over his face. He's off. He's present but not fully present. My heartbreaks for him, his sisters and of course his Mother. You think you are prepared for these things going in but the truth of the matter is that you are not. And it could be soon and it could be a long time away. I wish I could take away his guilt over this..........living far away and with economical challenges plus the rising cost of airfare make it difficult as well. AND THEN there is that feeling I know he has........that feeling of wanting to remember her "with it" and "cognitive enough to carry on a conversation" and not have the memory of a Mother who is there but not there. This is what his sister faces and I KNOW how hard that is....to watch the steady decline. She's been watching it for several years now. She (his sister) is weary.......she's emotionally spent and tired. When I was going through this with my Mom I knew I had a listening and participating husband (as does she) AND I had the listening ear of my older brother before he got really sick himself. Knowing I could call him when I needed to cry or vent or just get emotional support was vital. I wasn't getting it from my other 3 brothers. This is why BohoHandyman feels such guilt as well.....he saw what I went through not having siblings HERE...........BUT I remind him about the emotional support and what it meant to me and some days truly helped me get through knowing I could call my brother....he loved me and he apprecitated everything I did for my Mom and he did what he could.
It's a truly tough road with ailing elder parents. So many of my friends have been through this both in person and with blog friends....even recently. And my Sister-in-law has close friends who have been through it too and lend her support. I just hope she truly gets how much we, especially BohoHandyman, appreciate her and love her. She reads my blog so hopefully this will reiterate the fact.
In the meantime a prayer, a good vibe, a tender thought....whatever you have....would be appreciated.
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In the meantime have a great start to your week! Tell those you love, you love them and be kind to one another!
See you soon!
